5 Big Fears Students Have and How They can Face Them

Halloween is a time to celebrate everything scary.  We laugh at witches and ghosts and dress up as the Addams family.  But what do we do when real fear holds us back from achieving our greatest potential?
I have mentored hundreds of graduate and medical students, most of whom are underrepresented minorities.  We get into in-depth conversations about their career choices and the opportunities and the obstacles that stand in their way.  Some common patterns emerge, including fears.  Fear can be healthy.  It can keep us from harm.  But fear can also be paralyzing.  As Franklin D. Roosevelt once said: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” 
Below are some of the fears that I have found most commonly in my students and some of my advice to them:     
Fear of making the wrong decision:  I would say that this is their fear numero uno!  Many of my students are already deep into a career path.  They are already out of college; most of them have already graduated with a bachelor’s degree in the sciences.  Now they are deciding what to do next.  They ask things like “Should I go to med school?” “Master’s program?” “Ph.D.?” and worst of all, they ask; “Did I make a mistake choosing my major in college?”  They have so many choices in front of them that, as if it weren’t hard enough, they second-guess choices they no longer have because those choices were made in the past.Too many choices can paralyze a person with indecision because the fear of making the “wrong” decision is too strong.  In his book  The Paradox of Choice, psychologist  Barry Schwartz argues that too many choices create anxiety.  He recommends a systematic approach toward making a choice that involves six steps. Some helpful choice-making steps from this book that students can apply to make their career decisions are:

1. Figure out your goals: For students, confronting their fear of making the wrong decision can mean asking themselves: What do I really want for myself?  This can take the form of exploring their values and beliefs about what is important in their life.  Stepping back to thinking about your life goals can help clarify your career path.
2. Evaluate the importance of each goal: I take this to mean that you accept that you won’t get it all, so figure out what you really can’t live without.  This is a good way to face this fear by already accepting the fact that whatever path you choose, it will not be perfect. This can be a way to narrow things down to what’s most important to you.
3. Ask yourself if the options are likely to meet your goals: Would the career paths that you are considering get you closer to achieving your most important goals? 
4. Pick your option, make a decision: Sometimes, not making a decision is in itself a decision.  I have seen this lack of decision-making play out on many occasions with students that continue on to a master’s program out of inertia.  They continue to study as a holding pattern for their indecision.  I advise that if you choose to continue your graduate studies, make it a conscious decision, not something you end up doing by default.  Once you’ve made a decision on your career path, give it your all.  Second-guessing your choice is as damaging as making the “wrong” decision.  This is because, in your mind, you can imagine the choice you didn’t pick as if it would have been wonderful, which in turn will make you miserable.  Instead, think of the choice you didn’t select as a choice that could have been unsatisfying for you.  Banish the ghosts of the paths you did not take and revel in where you are now headed instead. 
5. Modify goals: Goals, like fears, are all in your head.  You can change them to be anything you want.  So, use your superpower.  Change your goals if the ones you had before no longer fit your career path. 

FOMO: Yes. Fear of missing out is a big one for my students.  This one is about fearing that the career path they didn’t choose is more: fun, lucrative, fulfilling, etc. than the one they chose.  This fear is intensified when they view posts on social media or messages from people who did choose that other career path.
As we all know, the day-to-day of any career is much less glamorous in reality than it seems on social media.  But my students still fear that other friends or classmates have it better than them because they seem to have made a better choice. 
To alleviate this fear, I have told students to look at their own social media postings.  Did they post any pictures of the all-nighter they pulled to create a poster for a presentation or did they only post a picture of themselves in front of the poster after it was done?  Did they post pictures of themselves working for 12 hours in front of the computer, or a picture of themselves receiving the diploma after their dissertation was accepted? 
Just in the same way, what their friends post on social media is not always an accurate representation of the hard work and determination it takes to actually achieve a successful career.  Who knows, there’s probably someone out there having a major case of FOMO over the life they think you have. ;)
 
Fear of disappointment: Many students I see have a fear of disappointing others.  Even students who are far into their career experiences want to please their parents, teachers, and mentors and make them proud.  For some, this means that they have to pursue a career as a medical doctor because this is something their parents want or expect.  Choosing another career path can seem like a terrible disappointment that no good son or daughter would want to impose on their parents.
I try to help students understand two things. First, that it is their own life they are living, not their parents’ lives.   Second, I try to reassure my students that their parents will understand (eventually) if they take the “disappointing” career path, as long as they do well in what they choose. However, I must admit that sometimes this is not exactly the case. Some parents are really vested in their children’s career choices and others not so much.  I’ve had parents call me and tell me how important it is for their child to go to medical school, and have even received a threatening letter when a student was not accepted into my program.  I try to explain to these parents that the alternative is worse.  Who hasn’t met someone who is miserable in their profession?  I bet many of them are miserable because they pursued the profession that their parents chose for them.
A healthier approach to this fear could be having a heart-to-heart conversation with your parents.  I know that it can be super scary.  But it beats a lifetime of trying to live someone else’s life.  Most parents wish a life of fulfillment and happiness for their children.  We parents need to understand that sometimes, the career we set out for our children is not the path they can or want to take.

Test Anxiety: Apparently, this is a real thing.  Many of my students can know a subject very well, be able to do everything correctly in class, explain all concepts perfectly, and be as sharp and smart as can be.  But, when it comes to testing, (especially standardized tests), they fail to show that same brilliance.  I have seen students study a whole year to take the GRE then not show up on the day of the exam.  I’ve also had several students who, while trying to get into medical school, take the MCAT over and over again, only to get worse scores every time they take it.  Putting the issues with standardized testing aside, test anxiety can be a real paralyzing fear for some students. 
Of course, feeling some worry and even some fear about taking an important test is normal, and may even be beneficial.  That little void at the pit of your stomach can be a good motivator.  But when that feeling becomes real cold-sweated fear and doesn’t let you show what you know on a test, that is test anxiety.
According to the Mayo Clinic, these are some of the things you can do to alleviate test anxiety:

1. Learn how to study efficiently. We teach students the materials they need to learn, but we rarely teach them how to learn.  This is something that most students have to research and learn on their own. Do what you need to do to learn how to learn for your own particular situation and style.    
2. Study early. Some of us only get motivated to do something unpleasant when there is a looming deadline.  One solution may be to create a personal deadline.  I had a friend who would prepare for an exam one week in advance in order to feel confident enough to take the test.  Although this technique requires one to be decisive about meeting a self-imposed fictitious deadline, it worked to alleviate my friend’s test anxiety. 
3. Establish a consistent pretest routine. I like having a consistent routine for doing hard stuff.  This can be anything that will make you feel more confident and relaxed.  For example, I used to walk to school a couple of miles every morning.  But during test days, my Mom would take me to school.  This helped me feel more relaxed since I did not have to rush to school.  For you, a pretest routine could be having a warm bath, or a particular breakfast, or dancing to an uplifting beat.  Anything that you can do as a ritual or routine to lower the stress before test-taking can be hugely helpful.
4. Learn relaxation techniques. Meditation, mindfulness, and breathing techniques have helped me with my fear of public speaking. I am sure that they can also help students with test anxiety.  There are podcasts, apps, classes, and many other resources.  Remember that meditation is not something that you do once, it is a practice.  The more you do it, the easier it will be to call upon that skill when you need it during stressful situations like taking a test. 
5. See a professional counselor, if necessary. Of course, if nothing else works and this fear is interfering with your success, you should seek professional help.  

 
Lack of Fear of Student Debt: Interestingly, not so many of my students have expressed financial fears, even though most of them have student loans that are, to me, horrifying.  Most don’t mention their student loans unless I ask, which is scary in itself because I think that many students don’t want to face their financial situation.  This denial of fear allows them to borrow more money, but at what cost?!   I would argue that denial of fear also has its consequences.  Having some degree of fear of student debt is be a healthier approach to career decision-making.
Helping our students face their fears, address the ones that block their path to success, and face the real obstacles that can truly derail them is part of our job as mentors.  Students, you are not alone in your fears.  Being open about your fears and having a plan for dealing with them will set you free.
Happy Halloween!