27 Experts Give Tips on How to Ask Someone to Be Your Mentor

by Carmen Jacob for Upjourney

People in all kinds of careers would benefit from having mentors.  But it can be difficult to ask someone if they can be your mentor because it can be intimidating, you don't know who to ask, or you don't know how to ask.  
In this article, 27 experts in various industries, including science, business, and finance, give tips and recommendations on how to ask someone to be your mentor.  My advice was: 
Be prepared to answer some questions
I’ve had students ask me to be their mentor just because someone else told them that it would be a good idea. Whether the person who recommended me was another student or even the person’s academic adviser, the potential mentee must be prepared to answer the question – Why?
Your answer should include why you are seeking a mentor at this time? Are you moving to a different department and need advice about that? Is there a particular reason why you are seeking me specifically as a mentor?
Answering the question -Why?- will help clarify the goals of the mentorship.
What kind of advice you are looking for?
Do you need advice on career advancement? Are you looking for someone to help you with a particular research methodology? Are you looking for someone to take a look at your resume to see if you are ready for a promotion?
The more specific you can be in the “What?” the more prepared you will be to know whether you are getting what you need from the mentoring relationship.
Think of how the mentoring relationship will progress
Will you meet in person, by phone, online? Will you check-in once a month or as needed? Will you meet at the office, for a coffee? The How of the mentoring process should be negotiated and should be open to change depending on need.
However, some programs require that students meet with their mentors regularly; therefore, I need to know that in advance, to determine whether I can serve the mentee in the way they need."
So, think about these three questions, the WHY you want this person to be your mentor; the WHAT you want this person to mentor you on and what would be the expected outcomes; and the HOW you want them to mentor you.  

Advice from the other 26 experts included:

• Be appreciative of their time. Thank the mentor is small but meaningful ways.
• Outline a plan for the mentorship and discuss it with your mentor.
• Do your homework, don't expect the mentor to do it for you.
• Give back, don't just take.  
• Stay committed to the mentor relationship.  Showing lack of interest, will undermine it.  

 To download my Checklist for First Meeting with New Mentor go HERE.
Previous blog posts on this topic can be found HERE.

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